kshandra: Six hearts in rainbow colors, linked in a star pattern around an infinity symbol (Polyamory)
[personal profile] digitalsidhe posted earlier this evening about attending the memorial for Jack Random yesterday, and it appears to have stirred up a lot of emotions in me. Not because I knew Jack - indeed, I'm not sure I'd ever heard his name before my queer friends started posting about his passing.

And that's what did it. I'm upset about my complete inactivity in "freak" circles. Queer, kinky, poly...you name it, I'm a cipher in it. And it isn't about the sex (mostly, anyway, though I'd be lying if I said that part didn't bother me, too) - it's about the connection. The community (and half of my Burner friends are shouting "DRINK!" now). Yes, I have my Invisible Internet Friends, and I love you all, but I don't have anyone who will call me up and say "Hey, wanna go to $EVENT next week/month/whenever?"

I know, I know. If I did, 90% of the time the answer would would be "Sorry, can't afford it." But I'd like the opportunity to be disappointed that I won't get to do something, as opposed to being disappointed that I didn't even know the something existed until someone Tweets about it from the audience (which happened over the weekend).

And no, the answer isn't "So go do something on your own!" Especially not right now, when the introversion is spiraling into tighter and tighter circles.

All comments screened, and I make no guarantees that I'll be able to answer them in a timely fashion, if at all. Also, virtual hugs are going to rub me the wrong way - a symptom of the problem, if you will - so please, don't.

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kshandra

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