kshandra: long-haired woman silhouetted against a stormy sky (Bad)
[personal profile] kshandra
I printed out my letter to Aunt Mary last night and put it in the mail today. The relatives with her POA are staying at her apartment during all of this, so I figured I would call and tell them to expect it, and to go ahead and read it to her if she wasn't able to do it herself.

It's worse than [livejournal.com profile] murphymom let on (or perhaps worse than she gathered from her phonecall); Aunt Mary hasn't opened her eyes since they admitted her on Thursday. The doctor doesn't expect her to wake again.

It was actually a pleasant call, despite the reason for it; it's probably been a couple of years since I last talked to Uncle Roland and Aunt Barbara, and it was good to hear their voices. They've got the arrangements well in hand; the family plot is at Forest Lawn (Nana, Grandpa, and Uncle Alfred are there already), and they'll be going over some time this week to confirm as many of the details as they can in advance of the event. I gave them my phone numbers, and Aunt Barbara joked that it was a good thing I have a different last name, because she wouldn't have been able to fit me in her phone book under her last initial. *watery grin*

I wrote the following on Tribe last night and wanted to share it here, too.

She's ready to go, too - has been for a while. "99 - isn't that terrible?" she'll say on the phone to me. And I can understand it up to a point; she's outlived her husband by a decade, outlived all her siblings...outlived several members of the generation that followed hers, as well. But when she asks me not to cry for her when she's gone.... I've told her that I'll be crying for everyone she leaves behind, and I think she's okay with that.

All I want is for her to see that next birthday in two weeks. And to share it with her. I deliberately blew off what turned out to be my great-grandmother's (her sister's) last birthday; she'd been suffering from dementia for several years prior to that, and my last visit with her was too painful for me to face again. But Aunt Mary has been in excellent health for her age up to this point, and has kept all her wits so far.

I just want to hear that laugh one more time....

My math was wrong; the 31st is three weeks away. It feels much, much longer.

I suppose I should start practicing; Mom spontaneously sang a verse of "Amazing Grace" at Nana's gravesite service, and Aunt Mary asked her to do the same for her. And I'll be there, this time (I couldn't afford the trip to LA for the internment, and the funeral up here had been hard enough on me), so I want to help.

And the only measure

Date: 2007-03-13 05:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] capplor.livejournal.com
of your words & your deeds will be the love you leave behind when you're gone -- Fred Small.

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this now. She sounds like a great lady.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-13 05:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bosn.livejournal.com
I do have to hear you sing sometime.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-13 06:02 pm (UTC)
jenny_evergreen: (Dark Tree)
From: [personal profile] jenny_evergreen
I'm sorry, hon. *hugs*


Date: 2007-03-13 06:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sylvan.livejournal.com
If there's anything I can do, let me know. Sending you loves, hugs, and strength; for Aunt Mary too.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-13 06:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silkensteel.livejournal.com
Celebrate her birthday anyway. Get the family to throw a big party, share pictures and stories of her. Eat all her favorite food, and don't forget to tell her right now (because some part of her can still hear you) when the party is, and that she's damned well invited to attend in whatever form she takes at that time.

Should the worst happen ...

Date: 2007-03-13 07:14 pm (UTC)
ext_176016: (Default)
From: [identity profile] charlottesmtms.livejournal.com
... you'll have at least one IRL friend to lean on. Please keep me posted!


I'm so sorry

Date: 2007-03-13 07:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] meezergal.livejournal.com
I'm so sorry to hear this. I *KNOW* how you're feeling. I wish I could do more than send you love and hugs; if there's anything at all I can do, just let me know. My email is catlover 9 underscore 9 at yahoo dot com.

Much, much love and hugs.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-13 09:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] teddywolf.livejournal.com

Reminds me a bit of how I felt seeing Nanny alive for the last time, and *knowing* I wouldn't see her alive again.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-13 09:57 pm (UTC)
mdlbear: (rose)
From: [personal profile] mdlbear

I know a lot of what you're going through -- Dad missed his 80th birthday by only a couple of months.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-14 04:11 am (UTC)
ext_73044: Tinkerbell (Default)
From: [identity profile] lisa-marli.livejournal.com
Wish I could do more than *hugs*. It's good that Aunt Mary is surrounded by people that love her and are taking good care of her. Sounds like she has a great life and a great family.
Take your comfort in that.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-14 07:21 am (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-14 08:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dandelion-diva.livejournal.com
Just sending loads of hugs and love, along with good thoughts and vibes.

Love you.
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