I'm awaiting a phone call from the intake counselor at La Ventana
My doctor recommended I seek out a clinic, as I need more than just a change in diet and exercise - I need to change my entire approach to food. I am not (strictly speaking) a binge eater, but I have a relationship with food that can only be called dysfunctional. I'll note for the record that this clinic does promote Health At Every Size, which I was thrilled to hear in my conversation with their Outreach coordinator last night, because I'm never going to weigh what the actuarial tables think I should. But my weight is keeping me from doing things I love, and that is not acceptable.
Getting this far was an ordeal I don't care to repeat, involving multiple emails via a contact form we ultimately discovered was broken, and a voicemail message left for their outreach coordinator that amazingly only included one F-bomb and no tears. (The lack of response to my email led me to wonder if they weren't using some bullshit tough-love approach and were expecting me to prove how much I wanted this; had that turned out to be the case, gridlore
would probably be putting out the begging bowl to raise my bail.)
Depending upon what is determined by my assessment, and what my insurance will cover, I may actually end up in what is called a partial hospitalization program - seven hours a day, five days a week. It frightens me past the capacity for rational thought to consider what that will do to us financially, but money doesn't fucking well matter if I'm dead, now, does it? (They do also have a half-day intensive outpatient program, but I need to approach this from the perspective of what's best for me, if not my wallet.)
I'll post if I make it in, and if journaling turns out to be part of their approach, I may copy those entries here (if I do, they will be cut-tagged, with a keyword in the subject line, and comments will be disabled).
Speaking of comments, I'm leaving them enabled here, but they will be screened, and I make no promises that I will answer any of them. Geek Answer Syndrome or attempts to "reassure" me that I don't need to lose weight will be deleted with extreme prejudice.