At the World Science Fiction Convention in San Francisco in 1993, my husband and I were examining various bits of merch in the dealers' room. "Come here," he says to me, "I've found your button."
Having long been fans of expressing ourselves 2.5" at a time, I figured he'd seen something amusing, and made my way over to where he was standing. "My god," I gasped. "It is."
The button in question?Once you've come out as a pagan, bisexual, married leatherdyke, everything else in life is that much easier.
Now, it wasn't completely accurate; then, as now, I was closer to agnostic than pagan, though I'm fond of quoting Stranger in a Strange Land
on this score ("All the names are still in the hat"). But damn if it didn't get everything else right.
Twenty years later, things vary in degree, if not in truth; the vagaries of my life have kept me away from queer and kinky space for quite some time. But both are still important parts of my internal identity.
I had an...interesting 2013, in that "oh god, oh god, we're all gonna die" way. I spent the first half of the year in an intensive outpatient program at an eating disorder clinic, and the second half dealing with my husband (who was already a cancer survivor) having a stroke and going through inpatient rehab. I trend toward the introverted side of ambiversion, and self identify as a recovering depressive (directly analogous, IMO&E, to being a recovering alcoholic). All of these things in turn can make blogging a challenge, which is why I find it hysterical that I've chosen to sign up for this...but then I look at the icon I've chosen for this post, laugh at myself, and move on.
I seem to be doing a wonderful job of talking all the way around the topic without actually introducing myself. Let's try this again.
I'm K`shandra (not legally, but I'll answer to it in public at least as readily as I do my birth name). Life long San Francisco Bay Area resident, married since 1991 to gridlore
, also a Bay Area native. I'm morbidly obese and middle aged (both of which made the whole eating disorder clinic thing extra awkward at times, lemmetellya). My passions are science fiction conventions and Burning Man, both attending and volunteering; my current Default World boss is someone I work with in the desert. I have too many stuffed animals and not enough bookshelves, too many half-finished craft projects and not enough hours in the day to finish them.