kshandra: Close-up of a single lit candle against a black background (Candle)
I was working up the energy to get ready for work this morning when [personal profile] gridlore commented that he was exceedingly grateful not to be driving for a living today. He had been listening to the local news radio station as he does most mornings, and had just heard about this.

Half of the routes we were delivering to today (including 80% of the routes we had moved up for the holiday, as they're normally covered on Thursdays) use that freeway. And CHP closed it just as our drivers were all leaving the warehouse this morning... Fortunately, none of our customers have called wondering where their deliveries were (no doubt the overall change in schedule was enough to make them understand that today was not business-as-usual), but everyone's been running 45-60 minutes behind all day.

Once I was settled in at work, my thoughts drifted to Scott, for obvious reasons. Hard to believe it's almost eleven years. Part of me wishes he was here, in the wake of the election; no doubt he'd be on the front lines of the resistance (and it terrifies me that I am moved to use that word to describe my friends and family in the 21st century, but what other word fits as well?). And part of me is bitterly grateful that he didn't live to see what this country has been revealed to be.
kshandra: Graffiti of hands ripping open a dress shirt, Superman fashion, to reveal the word FAIL (FAIL)
Nothing like a rapid-fire sequence of email and phone calls from a single customer to get one's heart rate elevated. And it could have all been avoided had I not received bad information from someone else in the building. (Said coworker has apologized for dropping me in a hornet's nest, and is someone who saves my ass on a regular basis, so I'm not going to hold it against them at all, but.)

And people wonder why I eat my feelings.
kshandra: Butterfly-shaped pewter paperweight, engraved with the Serenity Prayer (Serenity)
It's still sinking in, really. The staff page is already updated, and I keep looking through it and trying to place everyone who's gone, now...the list includes two vice presidents, which is cold comfort, really. The CEO (I keep wanting to type "our CEO," and I think it's going to be a while before I manage to break that habit) told everyone at the staff meeting last week that seniority would not be a factor, and neither would "parentage" (which of the pre-merger orgs you had been employed by, assuming you went back that far), and that proved out. It's my intention to send him an email, thanking him - he told everyone from the beginning that he would never lie to us, that he would always come to the staff first with any news, good or bad, and he kept his word.

I'm waiting on a response from my erstwhile supervisor; I've asked her to track down a copy of the job description that I can use to update my resume (I got comfortable, and never added this job after I landed it). When she writes me back - which I'm hoping will be today - I'll ask about a letter of recommendation. Once the resume is updated, I'll start carpet-bombing Craigslist. I still need to reactivate my accounts with the various agencies, too. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that OfficeTeam will come through for me again; they're the ones who got me this job, after all.

Thanks, everyone, for your comments and good wishes. With so many other people going through the same thing right now, it's hard not to get down about my prospects, but I'll try.
kshandra: long-haired woman silhouetted against a stormy sky (Bad)
...is not good.

(This is copied largely verbatim from an email I sent to family this afternoon; my apologies to those of you who have seen it twice. I was initially intending to post it locked, but as I already put the news on Twitter and thus on Facebook and Plurk, there's not a lot of point.)

The entire 101-person staff of $COMPANY will receive emails by close of business Tuesday with individual meeting appointments. By 1300 Wednesday, 14 employees will have been let go.

Our CEO (who I continue to respect utterly) was visibly shaken as he delivered the news to us. "I've been a CEO for close to 15 years, now, and I have always felt I had two responsibilities: to the staff, and to fulfilling the mission of the organization. Before today, those two had never been in conflict."

The board of directors had already approved the release of $2M of our emergency fund – roughly a third of what we have in reserve – and we were still some $800K short of our budget. All the options were considered. Furloughs were not feasible, as it would have taken 3.5-4 weeks per person to make up the difference. Pay cuts, likewise, would not have worked, as it would have required 10-15% across the board.

Our annual review process has barely begun for the year; thus far the only reviews $CEO has seen are those where an employee has been rated Superior in an area. So current performance reviews will not be a factor in the decision, though previous reviews most likely are. Perhaps the more surprising announcement was that seniority is NOT being factored in. So I don't see where my odds are any better, or any worse, than anyone else's.

Why wait? Why not do it now? That was a conscious decision, with several elements in play. The board meeting had been scheduled for today for some time; $CEO didn't want to come in here this afternoon and immediately lower the boom. He saw that as classless. He didn't want to do it tomorrow, because he considers Fridays the worst day to do layoffs – you can't do anything over the weekend. And waiting until next week means we're into the new month, and the employees that do get let go have that extra month's worth of benefits available to them.

So there you have it. I had already been planning on going to the bar tonight; my mood was perhaps a little less sparkly, but it was good to be out with friends. I will not be surprised to see a sizeable percentage of the office nursing hangovers in the morning. And in between errands over the weekend, I'll pull up my resume on the desktop machine and bring it up to date. I may need it come Thursday.

(Comments disabled, as I really don't know what anyone could say right now that I actually want to hear.)
kshandra: The Burning Man effigy, lit in blue neon, arms by his sides; an orange half-moon is visible over his shoulder. (Argh!)
Does anybody mind if I just lose my shit for a little while? No? Good. *SCREAMS*
kshandra: pixie with purple wings aloft before a full moon (Good)
Acquired from [livejournal.com profile] ladyotterfae:

Post 10 things that are going right in your life right now. I don't care how small. You're happy with your cup of coffee. You saw a flock of geese flying over. ANYTHING. Things that make you happy. Things that make you smile. No pressure.

It's small and it's simplistic, but maybe for the time you are compiling your list, you'll forget about the bad going on and focus on something good.


  1. As the folks who follow me on Twitter or Plurk already heard, I got an attagirl from the CFO this morning in our division's weekly huddle.
  2. A whole bunch of my campmates are coming down this weekend for Decompression on Sunday, and I can't wait to see them all again.
  3. As Otter put it, "I'm smitten. Thoroughly. Still." *beams at her new-old love*
  4. I have awesome friends.
  5. Pizza My Heart for lunch.
  6. The way my hair positively glows purple in sunlight.
  7. It's Friday!
  8. One of the girls who used to work in my department stopped by for a visit this morning.
  9. Faire tomorrow with [livejournal.com profile] murphymom.
  10. [livejournal.com profile] gridlore and I still have a roof over our heads and food on the table.
kshandra: Animated: Kermit the frog in front of a red velvet curtain, flailing happily (Yaaaaaaaaaay!)
Fuses the size of your head have been replaced, and we can talk to the outside world again. And there was much rejoicing.
kshandra: The Burning Man effigy, lit in blue neon, arms by his sides; an orange half-moon is visible over his shoulder. (Argh!)
[livejournal.com profile] gridlore, on the phone just now: "I'm moving to Khartoum and opening a store called Teddybears Named Mohammed. It will be less stressful."
kshandra: close-up of a statue of Abraham Lincoln, holding a picket sign reading "We All Deserve The Freedom to Marry" (LincolnMarry)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Coming_Out_Day

[livejournal.com profile] betnoir reposted something she originally wrote in 2004; I wish I had half her eloquence on the subject.

I meant to bring my "I ♥ >1" button to pin on my cube wall today (because it’s as important to me to be out as polyamorous as it is to be out as bisexual), or the bi-pride flag magnet that currently lives on my fridge, or SOMEthing to recognize the day, but I was so tired when I got up this morning that I forgot. In view of Bet's words above, it's rather embarrassing to me that I have the luxury of forgetting.

So I started an email to my co-workers - just the rest of my department - quoting Bet's post...and then sat there, poised over the "Send" button, wondering if it was the right thing. I've been out in the workplace before – in fact, I promised myself after I left SuperShuttle that I would never knowingly take a job where I couldn't be out. But it's always been an organic process for me...talking about where I went for the weekend (as an example) and ultimately having to explain that yes, I went with my husband and my boyfriend (or my boyfriend and my girlfriend); yes, they both knew about it; and yes, everyone was cool. I've never just stood up and said "Hi, I'm Kirsten and I kiss girls" before.

But ultimately, I did hit Send...and the girl who sits across the aisle from me came over and said "This may be totally inappropriate for the workplace, but I wanted to give you a hug." She called me the bravest person she knows - Brandon Teena was braver. Gwen Araujo was braver. Del Martin. Armistead Maupin. Freddie Mercury. George Takei.

I'm a piker. But I cannot, and will not, sit idly by when people I love are putting their lives on the line.

YAY!

Apr. 9th, 2007 03:17 pm
kshandra: The Burning Man effigy, lit in blue neon, arms by his sides; an orange half-moon is visible over his shoulder. (BurningMan)
I have my two weeks off for the Burn approved. My new direct report will be in the office on Wednesday (the Foundation is still working out of its original separate offices until the new facility is completed, and she's in San Mateo), and I'll hand over my PTO request for her to sign then.
kshandra: Small owl with its head turned 90 degrees from vertical. Text: "Wait...what?" (...what?)
So I haven't mentioned it yet, but I'm interviewing here on Thursday for the permanent position I'm currently filling as a temp. Combine that with Morgan coming up in someone else's journal, and, well, you can guess what comes next.

Am I ready for this interview? )

Hee!

Mar. 12th, 2007 03:08 pm
kshandra: Small owl with its head turned 90 degrees from vertical. Text: "Wait...what?" (...what?)
Just wandered into the bathroom...and the person at the sink looked up and burbled "Oh, hi!" It was one of my bosses from Second Harvest, here for a meeting.
kshandra: Cover artwork from Trans Siberian Orchestra's "The Christmas Attic" (Christmas)
Based solely on an off-the-cuff remark I made about going to karaoke after work a couple of weeks ago, my Secret Santa got me...

...a 3-disc 80s compilation.

Go, me.

Of course, I want to go thump whoever wrote the Amazon listing, because "Make Me Lose Control" is by Eric Carmen, damnit, NOT Rick Springfield...but anyway.
kshandra: The Burning Man effigy, lit in blue neon, arms by his sides; an orange half-moon is visible over his shoulder. (Bunny - Phbbt)
They're taking the intarwebs away at my current assignment (from anyone who doesn't actually need it for their job, not just me), which means no LJ, no 10@10, and no email during the day...and until we manage to get our networking issues squared away at home (I've had several offers for tech support; [livejournal.com profile] gridlore and I just need to finish cleaning the sty apartment so whoever does the job doesn't break zir neck walking in the door), I probably won't be getting online until somewhere in the 8-9pm vicinity during the week.

This will, of course, have a dramatic affect on my ability to comment in a timely fashion - if, in some cases, at all. If you need my input on something, email me the link so I'm certain to actually see it, and please be patient.




In other news, Pride was lovely. I didn't actually get to the festival, but I managed to see the entire parade for the first time in years (and those two statements are even more directly connected than they appear - standing for four hours, even in weather as gorgeous as SF had yesterday, gets uncomfortable fast). I met up with the CryptoFishist (Scott's widow) early, and we watched the parade together, blowing kisses to the Medical crew whenever they came by (and weren't obviously responding to a call). I got some good pictures, but forgot to bring extra batteries with me for the camera, so I didn't get as many as I might have liked. [livejournal.com profile] tattycat, I did manage to get a kiss from a hot babe - it was a Hershey Kiss, alas, and I neglected to get a picture of the blonde who gave it to me, but I'd be happy to send you the wrapper as your requested proof. ;-)

Whoever said "face" or "forearms" in the Annual Sunburn Pool (because it isn't officially Pride until I've burned something) can collect your No-Prizes now. More painful, however, was the faceplant I took in the parking lot at Diridon Station when I got off the train coming home; much like last year, I turned an ankle on an uneven patch of pavement, and went down in slow-motion with a full backpack and multiple witnesses. :-P Said witnesses all asked if I was okay; one offered me a ride, for which I was truly grateful even though I didn't need it (I was about 10 slots away from where Sammi was parked when I went down). Much more road rash this year than last (I was wearing shorts), and the muscle aches have been making themselves increasingly known today. But at least it happened at the end of the day this time, rather than in the middle.

*thbbbt*

May. 2nd, 2006 01:33 pm
kshandra: The Burning Man effigy, lit in blue neon, arms by his sides; an orange half-moon is visible over his shoulder. (BalancedDiet)
I was a good girl and didn't go looking at discount Easter chocolate this year.

One of my coworkers has a dish of dark chocolate Hershey Kisses on her desk.

The foil wrappers are bi flag-colored.

Damn.
kshandra: The Burning Man effigy, lit in blue neon, arms by his sides; an orange half-moon is visible over his shoulder. (Bunny - Phbbt)
...a promising temporary assignment evaporates out from under me due to an unexpected lack of work for me to do.

I'm going to the bar and singing bitchy songs tonight.
kshandra: figurine of a teddybear seated at an office desk, looking at a computer (ComputerBear)
Just got a call from OfficeTeam; I start a new assignment at 1pm. (They wanted me at 11, but it was going to take me 90+ minutes to get there, so my rep called to get me a little breathing room.) Running off to the bus stop now so I can get something to eat on the way.

And yes, [livejournal.com profile] jarlsberg71, I'm Shuffling. ;-)
kshandra: figurine of a teddybear seated at an office desk, looking at a computer (ComputerBear)
I hit ?skip=200 on my People filter before I caught up to where I was on LJ when I went to bed last night. I'm doing my best to read everything, folks, but unless I feel a deep-seated need to do so, I'm commenting on almost none of it. I'll go back to being the Queen of 5-minute-refresh after this assignment's over, I promise.

*BURP*

Oct. 31st, 2005 02:15 pm
kshandra: The Burning Man effigy, lit in blue neon, arms by his sides; an orange half-moon is visible over his shoulder. (Default)
Just back from a two-hour going-away lunch for my soon-to-be-ex supervisor.

At PF Chang's, where I hadn't eaten in months.

*happynoises*
kshandra: The Burning Man effigy, lit in blue neon, arms by his sides; an orange half-moon is visible over his shoulder. (BrrI'mCold)
I just took binder clips to the front of the shawl I keep at work and made sleeves.
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